The Movie Confessions Questionnaire

Once a year I'll take it easy and fill out a film questionnaire and post the results. Last year I filled out the BNAT 14 application, and the year before that I filled out a horror survey. This year I've settled on the Movie Confessions blogathon questionnaire from Myfilmreviews.com.

Which classic movie don’t you like/can’t enjoy and why?

Anything by Jean-Luc Godard. I don't understand his films. I have no idea what he's trying to do in spite of working my way through most of his filmography and watching several titles multiple times. I think I've worked out "Masculin Feminin," which captures youth culture in Paris in the 1960s, and "Weekend," which jabs at consumer culture, but his approach is so alienating that I can't say I enjoy either. Godard is so fixated on specific political ideas in his early work and then on experimental forms later on, I find him one of the most difficult filmmakers I've ever come across.

Which ten classic movies haven’t you seen yet?

Not a great question for me, since there's not much I'm embarrassed about not having seen. So I picked ten movies I think I should see eventually.

1. Pillow Talk
2. Miracle in Milan
3. Sholay
4. Medium Cool
5. The Passion of the Christ
6. Castaway
7. Meet the Parents
8. All the King's Men
9. Sorcerer
10. The Night Porter

Have you ever sneaked into another movie at the cinema?

No. Didn't have the guts to actually do it. I thought about it constantly for years, though. Theater-hopping was one of my favorite daydreams, just wandering around a big crowded cineplex all day watching different films.

Which actor/actress do you think is overrated?

Mark Wahlberg is good for some things, but I can never quite buy him as a good guy. I don't find him particularly charismatic and his range is woefully limited. Actresses are trickier, but Natalie Portman strikes me as someone who hasn't really done enough to live up to her press.

From which big director have you never seen any movie (and why)?

I had to wrack my brains and do some emergency Googling for this one. But then the answer was obvious: Tyler Perry. I haven't seen a single Tyler Perry movie, and shame on me, because there's no reason why I shouldn't have by now. I like the actors he regularly works with, and the level of cultural clout he has should surely count for something.

Which movie do you love, but is generally hated?

It feels like I'm chreating because this is a childhod favorite, but I always loved "Red Sonja." One of the local syndicated stations played this and the Conan movies constantly, and I loved every last goofy, cheesy, bad special-effects adorned minute of them. Sonja was supplanted by "Xena: Warrior Princess" eventually, but I'm still very fond of her. And yes, I know about Brigitte Nielson and Flava Flav.

Have you ever been “one of those annoying people” at the cinema?

Once. I went with my brother and father to a screening of "Die Another Day." We were late so my father went to park the car while my brother and I got tickets. The movie started, Dad ended up in a spot that he had to keep feeding quarters to, and didn't make his way into the theater until the opening credits. We had an argument in the theater about whether we should go or stay, and if it was worth going in and out of the theater to feed the meter. We kept getting shushed by James Bond fans around us. We ended up staying. No one left to feed the meters because we eventually realized it was the weekend and nobody was checking them.

Did you ever watch a movie, which you knew in advance would be bad, just because of a specific actor/actress was in it? Which one and why?

I've watched plenty of movies for specific actors, but I could rarely predict in advance whether the movies were going to be any good or not. I guess the closest case would be saying yes to seeing the first "G.I. Joe" movie, because at least Joseph Gordon-Levitt was in it, and I could just turn my brain off for most of it. Well, that didn't work at all, and I have no idea how anyone thought that casting Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Cobra Commander was a good idea.

Did you ever not watch a specific movie because it had subtitles?

Very funny. Next.

Are there any movies in your collection that you have had for more than five years and never watched?

I guess "My Neighbor Totoro," which someone got me as a gift, knowing that I like Studio Ghibli movies. I'd seen "Totoro" before a long time ago, but never felt like rewatching it. The DVD remains unopened on the shelf next to "Howl's Moving Castle" and "Spirited Away," which get much more frequent traffic.

Which are the worst movies in your collection and why do you still own them?

Ruling out movies that I didn't acquire myself, I guess it has to be "The Golden Child" with Eddie Murphy. It is an appalling mish-mash of Orientalist stereotypes parading as an adventure comedy, where the exotic Asian beauty isn't even played by an Asian woman, and dear god I love it so. Eddie Murphy keeps the movie going by sheer force of will, and the scene with Charles Dance in the Nepalese airport is absolutely priceless.

Do you have any confessions about your movie watching setup at home?

Despite having a nice flatscreen and a stereo system hooked up, I still end up watching lots and lots of movies on my laptop. I just find it more convenient to use the VLC player for the easier controls, and if a film takes a turn for the worse, I can simultaneously browse online in a separate window.

Any other confessions you want to make?

I didn't think "Prometheus" was that bad.
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