My Top Ten Kids In the Hall Sketches

Would I have gotten through my sophomore year of college without coming home after morning classes every weekday to chill out with an hour of "Kids in the Hall" reruns on Comedy Central during my lunch break? Probably, but it wouldn't have been nearly as fun. Here are my top ten favorite sketches from my favorite Canadian sketch comedy show. All links lead to Youtube.

The King of Empty Promises - One of the first bits of "Kids in the Hall" I ever saw, and the one that helped get me hooked on the show. Kevin MacDonald plays the title character, who borrows a video from a friend, played by Dave Foley, and keeps failing to return it, to the friend's increasing consternation. I love how the situation escalates, and MacDonald keeps getting more and more infuriating.

Pit of Ultimate Darkness: Employee Employer Exchange - MacDonald and Foley again, this time as their recurring characters, Sir Simon Milligan and Manservant Hecubus, who love telling us of their evil doings, that are never quite as evil as they make them out to be. In this installment, Simon and Hecubus switch jobs and Hecubus tries his hand at hypnotism, with a little help from a syringe of sodium pentathol.

Pear - A bizarre sketch from the very first episode where a man played by Scott Thompson keeps waking up from strange dreams within dreams, each time to a different sleeping arrangement with different partners. It's a good taste of the troupe's penchant for high concept pieces and kooky surrealism. I love the self-aware pretentiousness, the art film visuals, the oblique dialogue, and the final punchline.

Francesca Fiore: Spy Models - My favorite Scott Thompson character is the fabulous Francesca Fiore, a gloriously over-the-top movie star. "Spy Models" is one of her fake films, where she's a spy who has gone undercover as a high fashion model in order to dispose of an evil General with a little help from her sometimes-ally, sometimes-lover, Bruno Puntz Jones - Dave Foley in a bad accent, moustache, and Panama hat.

Experiment - The three guys I've talked about so far are my favorites, but the other two "Kids in the Hall," Bruce McCulloch and Mark McKinney, deserve their kudos. Here McKinney plays his recurring oddball character Darill, who is recruited by a scientist named Carlo, played by McCulloch, for experiments in foot energy generation. This one stuck with me for being such a strange idea handled exactly the right way.

I Speak No English - A shopkeeper tells a baffled man trying to get directions that he speaks no English - in perfect English. Dave Foley's delivery of his increasingly ridiculous and verbally sophisticated explanation is priceless, particularly when his confused patron loses his temper and starts getting physical. Only the Kids and the Pythons were ever able to pull off sketches this smart this consistently.

Trappers - Foley and MacDonald play a pair of French Canadian fur trappers, straight out of the colonial days, who now stalk a more modern prey - businessmen and women in fancy suits. The silliness of the premise and the joyous execution is what gets me, from the jovial duo singing "Alouette" together as they paddle their canoe through office cubicles, to selling off the Armani suits they've harvested like beaver pelts.

Into the Doors - Perhaps Bruce McCulloch's finest moment, playing a record store owner who lays out for an awestruck customer exactly what it means to be a Doors fan, and what it takes to become one. His monologue is a masterpiece of music fandom, and delivered with the conviction of a true believer. I will never be convinced Jack Black's "High Fidelity" character wasn't inspired in some way by Bruce.

Husk Musk - I know that Danny Musk, played by Scott Thompson, appeared in other sketches, but this is the only one that I can recall. It's a classic example of one small idea expanded into an epic. Musk's natural musk is discovered to be so soothing to the senses that it does away with animosity, perhaps leading to world peace or the end of the world as we know it. How do these guys come up with this stuff?

Girl Drink Drunk - And finally, the sad downward spiral of an alcoholic, played by Dave Foley, who becomes addicted to alcohol - but only in the form of girly drinks. Common drinking problem scenarios are complicated by ludicrously complicated drinks with funny names, and little paper umbrellas take on sinister connotations. You may never look at milkshake or a blender the same way again after this one.

And shoutouts to Buddy Cole, Gavin, Maudre and Jocelyn, the Chicken Lady, the Headcrusher, the A. T. & Love ladies, and all 30 Helens, who I couldn't find individual sketches for that measured up to this bunch, but who I couldn't imagine the show without.
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