Tuesday, May 21, 2024

The 2023 Movies I Didn't See

I write this post every year to acknowledge some of the movies that I've made a conscious decision not to watch despite my having access to them.  In some cases there's a reason, and in some cases I just can't work up the enthusiasm.  I'm a completionist, and my hope is that by hashing out my thought process here, I can put any lingering doubts to rest.   I reserve the right to revisit and reverse my viewing choices in the future. However, I still haven't watched anything from last year's list. 


"Five Nights at Freddy's" - This was a big enough hit at the box office that I was tempted to check out the movie just to have a point of reference.  However, every review I encountered was bad, and in some cases not just bad but bottom-of-the-barrel awful.  Horror's already a rough genre for me, and I've skipped a bunch of other recent horror titles like "Skinamarink" and "Terrifier 2."  The only thing that gives me doubts is that the few good reviews suggest that this is very much a kids' film, so I could probably handle any scares.  However, that's not a good enough argument for me to watch the movie.


"Chevalier" - I was looking forward to this biopic of Joseph Bologne, the Chevalier de Saint Georges, because there was a poster for it in the local multiplex for a few months.  However, I seem to have completely missed the release, and there was zero critical chatter for it from any of the media outlets I follow.  Reviews seem to be decent, and the cast looks good, but there's just zero buzz, which I don't take as a promising sign.  It was a very good year for movies and there's been too much on my plate, so unless I come across this on a long airplane flight in the future, I'm content to let it slip through the cracks.


"Ruby Gillman, Teenage Kraken" and "Under the Boardwalk" - I generally make a point to seek out under-the-radar animated films when I can, but this year I hit my limit.  I just couldn't bring myself to watch the latest Dreamworks film, "Ruby Gillman," starring another self-conscious young heroine who learns she's special, and has to contend with snobs and social media bullying.  The character designs just looked awful.  Likewise, if you thought "Elemental" looked generic, how about the same story but told with hermit crabs?   "Under the Boardwalk" might be a good movie, looking at the talent involved, but it barely got a theatrical release and was dumped on VOD with no fanfare last fall.  I think I can let this one go, along with the latest "Monkey King" (how many Monkey King movies do we need?!) and "The Magician's Elephant."


"Shortcomings" - As an Asian-American who has been cheerleading the rise of more Asian-American led films for a long time now, I meant to see Randall Park's directorial debut, "Shortcomings."  I really did.  I like Justin Min and Sherry Cola.  The film is set right where I used to live in the East Bay.  However, I had a tough time getting through "Beef" and "Joyride" last year, and decided "Shortcomings" could wait.  And that's still where I am with the film.  I'm thrilled that it got made, but I feel absolutely no urgency about actually sitting down and watching this one.    


"Flora and Son" - I'm one of those people who likes John Carney movies, but at the same time finds them really, really annoying.  Music may be our salvation, but listening to the characters in his films prattle on about it makes me roll my eyes.  After watching the trailer for "Flora and Son," all I could think was that I'd already seen this movie before, and I couldn't tell if it was being done well this time or not.  The general lack of critical buzz around the film led me to conclude it was one I could probably miss.  Sorry Eve Hewson. I'll probably see you in something else soon.


"The Marsh King's Daughter" - I want Daisy Ridley to have a successful career, but she keeps showing up in movies like this, which I just don't have any interest in whatsoever.  As for director Neil Burger, I can't remember the last film of his I've liked.  I don't think one exists.  Would I have watched this if it was Morten Tyldum directing and Alicia Vikander starring, as originally planned?  I don't know, but the odds would be much better.    


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