"The Umbrella Academy" Underwhelms

What really galls me about "The Umbrella Academy," Netflix's adaptation of the comic book series by Gerard Way and Gabriel Bá is that I really like the whole premise and some of the characters.  I'm already pretty sure that I'm going to watch the next season. And this is terrible, because I really dislike about half the cast.

"The Umbrella Academy" is a superhero show, and presents a fun subversion of a common superhero gimmick.  Thirty years ago, an eccentric industrialist, Reginald Hargreeves (Colm Feore), adopted seven special children who had all mysteriously been born at the same time, to different mothers around the globe.  These children had special gifts, and were raised and trained by Hargreeves at his "Umbrella Academy" to become superheroes. However, Hargreeves proved to be a terrible father and the grown-up children in the present day are a deeply troubled, dysfunctional bunch.  They reunite when Hargreeves dies, faced with a new challenge to prevent the Apocalypse.

I initially had high hopes for the show after a terrific premiere that slowly introduces viewers to the seven siblings, Number One through Number Seven.  Thankfully, most of them also have normal names. Former leader Luther (Tom Hopper) spent the last four years living in isolation on the moon. Diego (David Castañeda) is a lone wolf vigilante.  Allison (Emmy Raver-Lampman) parlayed her powers of suggestion into a successful film career. Klaus (Robert Sheehan) is a junkie who will steal anything not nailed down. Number Five (Aidan Gallagher) accidentally time-traveled to the future and got stuck there for decades.  Everything about Ben (Justin H. Min) is a spoiler. Finally, there's Vanya (Ellen Page), a violinist who was ignored and excluded from the team because of her lack of powers.

Like many comic book heroes, these characters are pretty thin.  However, the better performers are able to give even the oldest tropes some new life.  Nowhere is this more apparent than with Hazel (Cameron Britton) and Cha-Cha (Mary J. Blige), a pair of assassins who are this season's primary antagonists.  We've been seeing variations of this bickering pair since "Pulp Fiction," but here they often end up stealing the show, especially the donut-loving Hazel. Among the heroes, my favorite is Five who, because of certain quirks in time-travel, is a man in his fifties currently stuck looking thirteen years old.  Gallagher's precocious, world-weary performance is so much fun. I also like Ellen Page's Vanya as she struggles to come into her own and tentatively starts dating a man named Leonard (John Magaro).

Unfortunately, the weaker members of the cast, coupled with some very pedestrian writing, make other characters absolutely insufferable.  Luther is a bullheaded straight-arrow type with a massive chip on his shoulder. He is only ever a decent human being to his love interest Allison, who is unbearably wooden and can never be bothered to clumsily express more than one emotion at a time.  Klaus, however, is the worst, a whiny, sniveling little ball of never-ending angst who will never in a million years be accused of romanticizing drug addiction. Each of them get sizable character arcs, and some interesting things happen to them, especially Klaus.  The performances are so one-note, and so badly executed, unfortunately, that the bulk of the time they're onscreen feels like a waste.

The show is still fairly watchable thanks to its brisk pace, good handling of the mystery elements, and the more appealing good characters.  There are a lot of interesting little concepts and side-characters like donut shop proprietor Agnes (Sheila McCarthy), and the Academy's robotic "Mom" (Jordan Claire Robbins).  There are only eight episodes in the first season, so it's not so hard to wait out the duller storylines to see the more exciting ones pay off. However, the duller storylines really grate, and it gets harder and harder to ignore how poor some of the execution is.   I can't help wondering if "Umbrella Academy" is aimed at a younger crowd than I assumed, since the scripting often insists on underlying its themes and concepts, and every twist is telegraphed so far in advance. And then there's the absurdly on-the-nose soundtrack.

It doesn't help that we've already had other shows like "Preacher," "Legion," and a passel of CW and Netflix superhero shows over the last few years that have done similar material so much better.  Showrunner Steve Blackman worked on "Legion" and plenty of other genre shows, so he clearly knows how the mechanics are supposed to work. I'm convinced that there's a much better show here, and the second season has the potential to improve considerably.  So despite my better judgment, I'm willing to give this another shot.

Thank goodness these seasons are so short.

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