Filling Out the BNAT 14 Application

I try not to use the survey form format for blog posts because I think it's pretty lazy, but there are cases where I think they can be interesting. Last year I filled out a horror survey from Sergio Leone and the Infield Fly Rule, highlighting my own lack of knowledge about horror films and supernatural soap operas of the '60s, and that was fun and fairly informative. So this year, I thought I'd fill out the application to attend Ain't it Cool News and the Alamo Drafthouse's fourteenth annual Butt-Numb-a-Thon movie marathon, or BNAT 14. I can never justify going all the way out to Austin, TX to attend one of these things, but the movie geek part of me never fails to perk up when Harry Knowles starts talking the event up every year. And the applications that he comes up with are so entertaining, I thought I'd fill one out for hell of it, leaving out the questions that get too personal.

Here goes.

1. List your full name, then a comma, then the name of your inner cinematic hero or heroine.

Miss Media Junkie, and Jim Henson, for making the world a little bit better than it was when he got here.

8. The first thing that pops into my head when I think of the number 14 is the phrase, “The Lucky Number,” which of course is the theme of this year’s BUTT-NUMB-A-THON. The Lucky Number, of course refers to Bilbo Baggins – our future cinematic hero – and when I was a kid, 6 years old to be precise, I watched the TV broadcast premiere of THE HOBBIT as a Rankin Bass production. It became one of my favorite things ever. I even played it at BUTT-NUMB-A-THON 2 in the year 2000. When I read THE HOBBIT I still hear JOHN HUSTON’s voice when I ‘hear’ Gandalf in my mind. John Huston is also one of my all time favorite filmmakers. So… if you could watch ANY John Huston related film, what would it be and why?

I've seen ten of John Huston's films, which is enough to quality him for one of my "My Favorite Director-of-the-Month Movie" posts, but he's one of those filmmakers who was around for so long and who did so much quality work, his career seems to mirror the history of American movies, and it's hard for me to think of his films as John Huston films. There's no denying the importance of the most iconic ones, including "The Maltese Falcon" and "Treasure of the Sierra Madre," but I guess my favorite Huston would have to be "African Queen," because I love Bogey and Kate Hepburn's performances so much. If you'd asked me the same question when I was eight, though, it would have been "Annie," of course. Nobody who was a little girl in the 80s didn't know "Annie." Then again, I really like picturing Huston as his character from the beautiful, little-seen children's film "Momo" - kindly old Professor Hora, keeper of Time, and knower of secrets.

9. In that HOBBIT, Richard Boone was the voice of Smaug The Magnificent. Richard Boone was a noted badass opposite John Wayne in a wonderful group of flicks. But perhaps he’s best known as Paladin on that awesome old show HAVE GUN WILL TRAVEL. I love that scene in STAND BY ME when they all sing that song. Man I miss River Phoenix. His brother was amazing in THE MASTER by Paul Thomas Anderson. What’d you think about that film?

That was a long way to go to get to "The Master." I've typed up my initial reactions to the film over here.

11. What do you do? Your profession & your passion. Two wildly different things, but sometimes the yin to one another’s yang. Basically, what do you do for a living, and what do you live to do?

I work a regular office job during the day, doing complicated administrative things. It would be simpler to say I do paperwork for a living, which is nice because I'm a compulsive writer. Is writing my passion though? I don't know, but it's certainly the closest thing I have to one. If I had to give up watching all media tomorrow, I'd still write. I'd still be trying to figure things out by putting my own thoughts and reactions into words, and putting the words into sentences and paragraphs, and hoping they added up to some kind of sense. I'd still be trying capture my experiences in words, creating a backup for my own memories that I could access even if the old gray matter fails me. Occasionally I even dream in words, but that's a post for another day, I think.

13. Luck has always been a major factor in getting into Butt-Numb-A-Thon. So tell me punk, do you feel lucky? How so? How do you know you’re coming to this BUTT-NUMB-A-THON? This is also a Birthday celebration for me. What makes you so damn lucky?

It helps to be able to hold my liquor during poker games. Also, pretzels. The pretzels are key.

14. What movie have you watched most in your life and how does that somehow define you?

Almost certainly the animated Disney version of "Robin Hood" from the 70s, though "Dumbo" is probably a close runner up. "Robin Hood" is considered by some to be the worst of the Disney animated features, and I certainly understand why. I knew about all the repeated and borrowed animation even when I was a kid, but it never took away from the things I enjoyed about that film, including the wonderful character designs and comic sequences. I still laugh harder at the tournament brawl than I do at anything that Disney has made since. So I guess I learned at an early age that it's no good writing something off entirely for a couple of superficial flaws. Also, I was doomed to never outgrow cartoons.

15. Now, Act out your favorite scene from your favorite movie in some fashion? Interpret it to your life. Make it work. Interpretive dance adaptations welcomed. I’ve been performing for you all year long. It’s your turn. Submit as a youtube link. Special Bonus consideration for those that morph that scene into a favorite scene in your favorite terrible movie. (OPTIONAL: Pure Bonus Points)

It's a little confusing as to whether the last part of this question is a bonus, or if the whole thing is a bonus. No matter.

Open with mashed potato sculpture in the shape of Devil's Tower. Alien mothership, in the form of an oversized chocolate chip cookie approaches in slow motion, only to crash into the mashed potato Devil's Tower, squishing it irreparably. Pull camera back to reveal that this is only the opening salvo in a recreation of the food fight from "Hook." Chaos commences in normal speed. The end.

16. You have psychic powers. You can see into the future. What played at this BNAT and why did you just soil your seat?

Gee, those context clues wouldn't be hinting at a screening of the new "Hobbit" movie, would they? The one that I'd really love to get a peek at early would be Alphonso Cuaron's "Gravity," which was supposed to come out a couple of weeks from now at the end of November, but has since been pushed to a yet-to-de-decided date in 2013. There were test screenings of an unfinished version back in spring, so we know it's pretty far along by now, right?

17. Show me what sort of Film Geek you are. Take a photo that explains the film geek in you. Whatever that means.

I have in mind a pre-battle starting screen from one of those old Konami fighter games, with me and my mortal enemy shopped in wearing ninja outfits, ready to beat each other to a pulp. The names of the fighters would be altered to read KAEL and SARRIS. I may be a creature of the digital age, but I have no illusions that I'm not having all the same arguments and debates that far, far better film scholars and critics than I, were having generations ago.

18. Now make the face you’ll make on November 1st if you don’t get into BNAT14? Break my heart, make me afraid. Include that photo. This will be your Yearbook photo.

I would attempt to approximate my expression on the night that I saw a 1997 screening of "Star Wars: Special Edition" in a packed house, and right before the final trench run on the Death Star, the power went out in the whole block. That would have been in high school, so my old Yearbook photo would probably be appropriate.

19. How’s your year been? Is this the last BUTT-NUMB-A-THON? Are the Mayans right?

I've had a spectacular year. This is not the last Butt-Numb-a-Thon. I suspect the Mayans were right, but have probably been terribly misinterpreted.

21. Watch BLUE SUNSHINE and explain what it did to you.

Congratulations Harry. It's over halfway through October, and you got me to watch a proper horror movie this month (available over on Hulu, if you're curious). And it was a lot of fun. The intro segments are great. The first murder with Richard Crystal's character stuffing a woman into a fireplace was jarring and wonderfully unhinged. I was a little sad he was killed off so quickly, because I though his wild-eyed, circus-freak intensity made him easily the most memorable fright in the whole movie. A close second would be Ann Cooper as Wendy - again, wonderfully loony, but gone too soon. As what the movie did to me, well, it entertained me for an hour and a half, which is all I really wanted or expected it to do. A few thrills, a few laughs, and something to talk and write about. Can't ask for anything more.
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