Taking a Shine to "Top Gear"

It was a nice coincidence that I was watching a really great episode of "Top Gear" the weekend that "60 Minutes" decided to run a piece about the beloved British program, which celebrates all things motorized and vehicular. I know next to nothing about cars, motorcycles, or pretty much any other form of transportation that goes vroom, but as I'm about to join the legions of commuters on the road next week, and my significant other has a condition colloquially known as the Need for Speed, cars are quickly becoming a major part of my life. And I've come to know car culture a little better over the past few weeks, thanks to the antics of "Top Gear" hosts Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond, James May, and the Stig.

My view of "Top Gear" is probably heavily skewed since I've only been watching the highlights of the show - the specials, races, challenges, and the segments about Richard Hammond's notorious crash of a jet-powered car in 2006. I think I've only sat through a single episode from beginning to end with all the reviews of various vehicles, the guests competing for best time on the test track, and arguments over placements of cars on The Cool Wall. In short, all the segments that contain content that a serious car enthusiast would be interested in, I tend to tune out. I'm in it for the spectacle, the personalities, and the humor, which all transcend the divide between the car-lover and the car-ambivalent.

Before I actually saw "Top Gear," all I knew was that it was a show about automobiles, and assumed that it was all gearhead reviews, speed tests, and purchasing tips. Not my idea of entertainment. Then I saw the show's 2007 segment about the Reliant Robin, a tiny, three-wheeled car that was popular in the UK in the 70s, despite being difficult to drive at anything approaching normal speeds. Presenter Jeremy Clarkson tested one out, but he never seemed to be able to go more than a few hundred yards without the car rolling over or skidding onto its side. It was the most hysterical thing I'd seen in ages, and suddenly the idea of watching a show about cars didn't seem like such a tedious prospect after all.

By far the most entertaining segments are the races and challenges when the three presenters have to compete against each other. This weekend I watched their Vietnam special from 2008, which required the trio to race from the south of Vietnam to the north on motorcycles and scooters over the course of eight days. All three of the hosts are scruffy-looking journalists in their forties and fifties, and might seem like an odd choice to be fronting a program that regularly features some of the slickest pieces of engineering known to mankind. But what they might lack in visual appeal, Clarkson, Hammond, and May more than make up for with speedy wit, creative snark, and an endlessly combative working relationship. It's like watching the good old days of "Siskel and Ebert," if their show had been about cars and they were really invested in humiliating each other.

In the Vietnam episode, for example, the presenters make their trip on locally purchased vehicles, including a comically inappropriate Vespa, which break down at the drop of a hat. Two of the three can't find bike helmets that fit, and initially have to resort to modified crockery and a bucket. A few days in, they trade in their clothes for newly tailored monstrosities of fuchsia and aquamarine. Then they keep buying each other outlandish presents like statuary and a model galleon that have to be strapped to the backs of the bikes to transport. Eventually they resemble nothing so much as a trio of mini-parade floats inching up the map toward Hanoi. Toward the end of the trip, realizing they can't possibly make the deadline, they cheat and take a train to make up for lost time. The entire way, they bicker and taunt and needle each other, and utterly fail to maintain any pretense of dignity. I nearly laughed myself sick.

I'm told the more serious segments of "Top Gear" are sufficiently informative and critical so that the show has a sterling reputation among enthusiasts. And it's concerns about maintaining this integrity that has stymied past attempts to export "Top Gear" to other markets like the US, where the program would have to be careful about stepping on the toes of corporate sponsors, something the BBC-produced original doesn't need to worry about. Nonetheless, the History Channel is planning to launch its own version in a few months. Maybe I'll tune in, but first I'll be searching out the past episodes where the presenters take on challenges in Botswana, the North Pole, and (gulp) Alabama. And maybe, someday, I'll learn to appreciate the more respectable parts of the show.

And who knows? Maybe I'll even learn to like cars too.