Friday, January 5, 2024

The 2024 Films I'm Anticipating the Least

I write this post every year to get some of the negativity out of my system about lousy current Hollywood moviemaking trends, and call out what I expect to be the worst examples in the coming movie year.  I want to tread very carefully this time out because the recent strikes have made a mess of the 2024 release calendar, things are still in flux, and we're lucky that some of these titles will be making it to theaters at all.  As always, please keep in mind that I hope that I am wrong about all the movies mentioned in this post, and that they turn out to be good cinema.  However, it is likely that this will be the last time you see discussion of any of these titles on this blog.  


Let's start with the superhero genre.  With the DCEU taking the year off, and Marvel looking at more delays, Columbia Pictures may end up dominating the year with three "Spider-man" adjacent films - "Kraven the Hunter" delayed from 2023, "Madame Web," and the third "Venom" movie.  "Kraven" made last year's list, so I won't repeat myself, but "Madame Web" has been saddled with the screenwriters from "Morbius," a first time feature director, and a February release date.  I like the stars, Dakota Johnson and Sydney Sweeney, but the live action Sony Spider-man Universe films without Spider-man have all been pretty miserable to date.  The third "Venom" movie might end up delayed until next year because of production delays, and will be the directing debut of Kelly Marcel, who wrote on the first two "Venom" movies.  I didn't like either of them, and I have no reason to expect that the latest movie won't be more of the same.  


On to the children's films.  Some older franchises are coming back with some concerningly high numbered sequels.  In March, "Kung Fu Panda 4" is on the slate.  I loved the first "Kung Fu Panda," and thought the sequels were okay, but Dreamworks has been leaning on this franchise awfully hard.  There have already been three different spin-off series, two of them taking place in the gap between 2016's "Kung Fu Panda 3" and the newest movie.  Then there's "Despicable Me 4" which is actually the sixth film in the franchise counting the prequels.  I gave up on this series after "Minions" and have no interest in returning for more.  Finally, "Sonic the Hedgehog 3" is on the slate for a December release, but also ran into filming delays, so we're more likely to see it in 2025.  Jim Carrey is not expected to return, and Robotnik will be recast.   


Speaking of franchises, we're getting another "Godzilla x Kong" film from Adam Wingard in April, after the wildly unsatisfying "Godzilla x Kong" film from 2021.  Fede Alvarez is who ultimately got the job of making a new "Alien" film, and I am well past the point of caring about that universe.   I hold out some hope for the new "Garfield" reboot because they got Mark Dindal to direct it, and the new "Twisters" with Lee Isaac Chung.  I think it's also too soon to write off the new "Planet of the Apes" movie, which recruited  Wes Ball from the "Maze Runner" movies to direct.  At least that one still has the writers from the Matt Reeves films onboard. 


You may have noticed a lack of horror movies this year, because most of the big franchises are on hiatus, and the track record for original horror films has been very good lately.  The only one I'm preemptively ruling out is "Speak No Evil," an American remake of the Danish film from 2022, and that's because just hearing a synopsis of the original creeped me out so badly, I think I should keep my distance.  

 

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