Friday, December 22, 2023

Rank 'Em: "Indiana Jones"

Well, after that last sequel, I think we're done with theatrical "Indiana Jones" films for a long time.  So, I'm ranking the five existing "Indiana Jones" from best to least.  Minor spoilers below.


"Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade" (1989) - After thinking long and hard about it, "Last Crusade" wins out over "Raiders" for me.  This is the installment of the original trilogy that I watched the most often as a kid, and have the most favorite moments from.  Indy was never more human or relatable than as the frustrated son to Sean Connery's Henry Jones Sr., and the opening with RIver Phoenix as the young Indiana Jones is so effortlessly entertaining.  They made an entire "Young Indiana Jones" television series based on those first few minutes.  I feel like this is the funniest of the original trilogy, with some visual gags that are as ambitious as they are absurd.  It's also the most touching, with the final tussle over the Holy Grail.  And I'll always love the last shot, of our heroes literally riding off into a perfect sunset the way they only can in the movies.  


"Raiders of the Lost Ark" (1981) - This is one of the best pure action films ever made, and I can barely take any objective stance toward it because it's been such a cinematic touchstone for me.  Looking back on "Raiders" over forty years later, the Orientalism and the brownface don't pass muster anymore, and the special effects work is rough, but the fundamentals of the filmmaking are as astonishing as ever.  The chase sequences and the fights and the clever bits of visual storytelling come straight from the pulpy old adventure serials that Steven Spielberg and George Lucas are paying homage to, but elevated to such an extent that they became iconic in their own right.  And I was so mad that Marion didn't come back for the rest of the original trilogy, and so relieved that she turned up in the later films.  I think she's still my favorite character in this franchise.


"Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom" (1984) - This was honestly in a very, very close race with "Dial of Destiny" because "Temple of Doom" was always an afterthought for me.  I think I've watched the whole film through a grand total of once, and just to check it off a list.  It's a much goofier film than "Raiders" and "Last Crusade," has a more difficult leading lady in Kate Capshaw's Willie, and the crummy portrayal of the Indian characters is just cringe now.  It didn't scare me as a kid, because I didn't see the scary parts until I was an adult.  However, the film had Short Round, who I knew through sheer cultural osmosis, who was one of the only memorable Asian child characters to be found anywhere in the movies in the 1980s.  And the opening sequence was a magnificent feat - the closest Spielberg got to directing a musical until "West Side Story" decades later.   


"Indiana Jones and The Dial of Destiny" (2023) - I was happy to write "Dial of Destiny" off as a well-intentioned mediocrity until the last act happened, and  found myself suddenly very happy that I was with Indiana Jones on this adventure.  James Mangold will likely be the only director besides Spielberg to have made an "Indiana Jones" film for the foreseeable future, and he did a perfectly fine job of it.  The trouble is that Harrison Ford has no business being in this kind of action spectacle anymore, and the digital double technology is not good enough to sustain that whole opening sequence with the younger Indiana Jones during WWII.  The scripting is also remarkably bad at giving Phoebe Waller-Bridge and her sidekick anything to do.  Still, "Dial of Destiny" got the premise of an older, outdated "Indiana Jones" right, in a way that "Crystal Skull" didn't.  Speaking of "Crystal Skull…"   


"Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" (2008) - I honestly don't mind the film as much as other fans seem to.  I just don't like it enough to spend much time thinking about it.  The shift to the '50s and Russian villains made perfect sense, but they weren't handled well.  There was far too much reliance on CGI, and actors like Cate Blanchett and Ray Winstone were wasted.  I liked that they brought Marion back, and that's about it. 

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