"The Farewell" Brings Everyone Together

"The Farewell" is a movie after my own heart, about a Chinese-American immigrant woman named Billi (Awkwafina) who learns her beloved grandmother, her Nai-Nai (Zhao Shuzhen), is dying of lung cancer. The resulting trip back to China to see her is full of culture clash and family drama, as Billi's relatives have decided to lie to Nai-Nai and pretend that nothing is wrong to avoid upsetting her. Billi, however, has deep misgivings about this approach.

I've never been in this specific situation myself, but I've been adjacent to it before, and likely will have to face something like it in the future. Billi's family situation and awkward straddling of two cultures is certainly familiar, and all her relatives remind me of all my relatives, from the spry matriarch ordering everyone around, to the younger cousins who can't speak Chinese very well, so they rarely say anything. Billi speaks Mandarin with a heavy accent, and is sensitive about it. Still, she does voice her opinions and pushes back against her parents and other relatives, asking uncomfortable questions.

There's no quick and easy guide to all the relationships and history of the family members, but part of the fun of the film is working out how everyone is connected. You have Nai Nai and her younger sister (Lu Hong). There's Billi's parents Haiyan (Tzi Ma) and Lu Jian (Diana Lin), her aunt and uncle (Jiang Yongbo, Li Xiang), and cousin Hao Hao (Chen Han) and his Japanese girlfriend Aiko (Aoi Mizuhara. Hao Hao and Aiko's wedding is being used as an excuse for the family to reunite and say goodbye to Nai-Nai, an awkward endeavor since the bride and groom have only been dating for three months. As you might expect, things occasionally take a turn for the absurd.

I was expecting the movie to be more of a comedy. There's certainly plenty of gentle humor in it. However, it's also a deeply touching, very heartfelt examination of grief and separation. Both of Nai-Nai's sons live overseas, and the reunion is the first time they've both been home at the same time in years, stirring up old conflicts. At a dinner with Nai Nai's niece Yuping (Zhang Jing), there's some pointed jabbing between the family members who left China and the ones who stayed. And as the situation grows more dire, and emotions start rising to the surface, we see several breakdowns and outbursts. The wedding reception sequence in particular is a great mix of farce and melodrama, as several characters reach their limits. Plus, it does a great job of showcasing the pleasures of major Chinese celebrations, with all the food and drinking and a bonus kitschy talent showcase.

The performances drive the film, and the ensemble is a strong one. Zhao Shuzhen is absolutely delightful, playing Nai Nai as bossy and incorrigible, but the one who understands and supports Billi the most. Awkwafina is solid, but the language barriers trip her up a bit at times. I found Diana Lin as Billi's mother and Jiang Yongbo as her uncle were both very strong, providing the necessary counterpoints to Billi's point of view. It's through them that the audience sees the toll of the lie on the rest of the family and learns more of the reasoning behind it. It's very easy to get attached to the whole lot of them, and I was a little sad when the movie ended as I would have liked to get to know them all better.

This is Lulu Wang's first feature, and there are a few bits of indie film frippery that stick out, like odd song choices and a slo-mo walk sequence. However, for the most part, the movie looks and sounds great, really taking advantage of the Changchun locations. I love the casualness with which she captures modern China, the shots of a dragon dancer taking a smoke break halfway out of his costume, or the photography session where the happy couple is posed in front of gaudy backdrops. There are so many little details included that give "The Farewell" a great sense of timeliness and authenticity.

I wish I emotionally connected to the movie more than I did, since it's so often speaking to my own experience. I can say, however, that I am very, very appreciative of it, and glad to see this story on film. Easily my favorite thing about it is that ultimately nobody is wrong, East or West. Everyone acts out of love, and everyone is shown to depend on their own little fictions in the end.
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