Sunday, May 12, 2013

Films of 2012 I'm Ignoring

Longtime readers of this blog know that I'm a completist when it comes to movies, so my best of 2012 list isn't going to be done until the fall, when the last couple of titles his home media. My "To Watch" list is currently down to about a dozen titles, including the indie "Middle of Nowhere," which has no DVD or Blu-Ray release date yet, "Neighbouring Sounds," which hits Netflix in about a week, and "No" and "Kon-Tiki," which are still in the middle of U.S. theatrical runs. I'm probably not going to get to everything, because there are always one or two titles that never show up at all, that I have to simply leave out.

However, I'm looking at a much shorter list this year than I've had in the past, because I'm being much more selective about what I'm watching. After a rough 2011 season where I spent weeks slogging through smaller indie films that I knew were pretty dubious in the first place, hoping to turn over some hidden gem that I'd overlooked, I've decided I can be a little more stringent about my standards. That didn't prevent me from sitting through "Hyde Park on Hudson," which I deeply regret, but I'll know better next time.

So for fun, I thought I'd list the movies of 2012 that I'm just going to ignore, not because they've done anything wrong, but because there have been too many in the past that promised the same things, and failed to deliver. It's not you. It's me.

Let's also treat this as a pre-emptive disclaimer for my upcoming 2012 year-end list. "The Paperboy" and "Bully" were borderline cases I've written about before, so I won't reiterate my assessments here. But what other notable 2012 films am I not bothering to watch, and leaving out of contention?

Promised Land, dir. Gus van Sant - You must have seen the commercials, that feature Matt Damon as an agent of a drilling corporation, who comes to a small town to buy up drilling rights, butts heads with an anti-fracking activist, and gets friendly with a local woman. Mediocre reviews and a really tepid premise sank this one. Sure, fracking is a compelling subject, but if I want to watch a movie about it, why don't I just watch "Gasland"?

Savages, dir. Oliver Stone - Mixed reviews don't deter me if I like a director, but I've given Oliver Stone too many chances over the years. I just couldn't work up any enthusiasm for what the trailers were selling as a pretty skeevy looking drug movie, centering around a strange menage a trois. Oh, and everything I heard about the film from other people who had seen it was uniformly negative. Apparently the ending didn't go over well.

Not Fade Away, dir. David Chase - Chase's directing debut, described as a post-war coming of age story about a teenager who fronts a rock band, played by John Magaro. Aside from the involvement of several players from "The Sopranos," there is nothing that looks particularly distinctive about this movie. The reviews were fine, but not high enough to get me over my growing weariness with bildungsromans.

Liberal Arts, dir. Josh Radnor - And then of course you have your midlife crisis movies. Radnor plays a protagonist whose answer to his dissatisfaction with life is to go back to his old college, reconnect with an old professor, and get into an age-inappropriate romance with a student played by Elizabeth Olsen. It just screams wishful thinking. It had some good reviews, including a great recommendation from Roger Ebert, but I'm bored just looking at the poster.

360, dir. Fernando Mireilles - Now I like this director, but I hate this premise. "360" is a modern day update of the Max Ophuls' film "La Ronde," where we see how a group of people, high and low, are connected to each other through various romantic relationships. The idea is contrived as hell, and Ophuls only barely managed to make it work with the help of Anton Walbrook's charming performance as the Raconteur. After lousy reviews, I can't imagine the modern version offering anything appealing.

Chasing Ice, dir. Jeff Orlowski - 75 minutes of watching icebergs breaking off from glaciers and listening to people talk about global warming. Oh, I don't think so. "Chasing Ice" may be gorgeous and universally acclaimed, but for me watching this sort of documentary is like eating my vegetables, and there have been enough on my plate this year. I'm also skipping the eye-candy epic "Samsara" for similar reasons.

The Amazing Spider-Man, dir. Marc Webb - I'm sorry, but I just can't get myself into the headspace for this one. In my mind it's still way too soon for a reboot of this franchise. In a couple of years maybe I can catch up, but right now I know I wouldn't be able to give the Andrew Garfield version of Spidey a fair shot. So he's staying in the very bottom of the queue until further notice.
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