The Bristol Palin Dance Show Schadenfreude

To all those viewers of "Dancing With the Stars" who are currently hyperventilating over the fact that Bristol Palin, daughter of former governor Sarah Palin, made it to this season's finals over Brandy Norwood, why are you surprised? The minute I heard that Palin would be participating in the show, I knew that there would be a decent chance that she'd last the entire season whether she could actually dance or not. This is because the weekly eliminations from the competition are determined by audience vote. Sarah Palin and her brood are magnets for drama in abundance, and have the benefit of association with the Tea Party political movement. There's no shortage of people, from the show's producers to political muckrakers, who benefit by her continued presence on the show. With the benefit of the audience participation mechanism, it's no wonder Bristol Palin's still here.

It may come as news to some viewers, but "Dancing With the Stars" is not a dance competition. It's a popularity contest, like "American Idol" and other talent programs. The judges sit behind their podium and give out their scores and opinions, but none of it means anything, or Norwood's higher scores would have put her ahead. This isn't a real competition like "Top Chef" or "Project Runway" where the professionals are making the elimination decisions. Rather, it's the audience that is invited to vote who they want to see for another week. There are no rules that say you have to vote for the best dancer or that you can't let personal biases affect the decision. You can vote for Bristol because she's young and attractive. You can vote for her because you agree with her mother's politics or her stance on sex education. You can vote for her to spite the liberal boyfriend you broke up with. You don't even need a reason.

This is why the winners of reality shows determined by audience poll are invariably young, attractive, charismatic, and tend to skew male and from the South. This is why becoming an "American Idol" or "America's Got Talent" winner is a lousy predictor for actual success after the show is over. Just compare the careers of Jennifer Hudson and Chris Daughtry, who were eliminated in early rounds of "American Idol," to the eventual winners of those seasons, Fantasia Barrino and Taylor Hicks. The voting audience will often get caught up in the dramatics of the competition dynamics and utterly fail to take actual talent into consideration, leading to unfortunate results. This is why I gave up on "American Idol" after watching two seasons. I have a better ear for musical talent than the bulk of the people who were voting, and the tyranny of the majority was driving me crazy. This is why I don't bother with these kinds of competition shows anymore.

I don't begrudge the viewers who enjoy these shows, but at the same time it's a little sad and very funny to see people who are still treating "Dancing With the Stars" and its ilk like serious competitions. I've run across several bloggers referencing Youtube videos, highlighting the differences in skill between Palin and Norwood, and trying to make their case that the results are wrong and unfair. Of course they're unfair. They've always been unfair. It's abundantly clear that nobody was voting for Bristol Palin for her dancing ability, but because she's sympathetic and they like watching her on the program. That's a perfectly legitimate reason. If this were a real dance competition with a title worth anything, the contestants wouldn't be celebrity amateurs and Bristol Palin wouldn't even be there. "Dancing With the Stars" is spectacle in the guise of a competition, a reality show mimicry for the benefit of the home viewers. It's not worth getting worked up over, or breaking television sets for, like that guy in Wisconsin did.

I find the fuss all very entertaining personally, and I don't even have to sit through the show to enjoy the aftermath. For those who do not enjoy schadenfreude, however, I offer a little perspective. If there's anything to take away from the recent results of "Dancing With the Stars, it's that Bristol Palin has a lot of the American public on her side. There aren't any real stakes beyond that except gossip column fodder. Maybe she ought to consider running for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska instead of Levi Johnston. On second thought, that may be a little too much reality for reality television to take.